Life Lately

Woah, senior year is happening and it's really happening. Stress levels are out of control, free time is in high demand, and obviously blogging has not been my top priority. So here's a little look at what's been going on in my life for the past month

(left to right) Started senior year along side my three of my best friends that I met on the 3rd day of college, freshman year. Hosted a huge and wonderful slumber party for all of my girlfriends. Did a lot of work and drank a lot of coffee. Continued to try and make my bedroom my place of peace.

Began writing my thesis. Worked the September #secrectsupperpdx for my internship with Eva Kosmas Flores. Ate the most amazing nachos of my life during Portland Nacho Week. Started dancing/choreographing 12 hours a week.

I've been living in these high-wasited jeans

I've been winding down with an episode of Friends and this tea every night

I've been wearing this perfume

I've been listening to Leon Bridges, JoJo's new "Tringle", & Tor Miller

I've been lusting over this blanket/poncho/cape thing (a birthday gift to myself, maybe?)

That's all for me now - take care! 

Something Old and Something New

What I Wore: Top - J. Crew, Short: Lucky, Bag: Madewell, Scarf: Vintage, Sunglasses: Cole Haan

It was back in Spring that I first laid eyes on this beautiful blush pink top from J. Crew. When I saw it hanging on the racks in all it's lightweight, eyelet, pastel glory I fell in love, but being a college student it's very rare that I buy anything full price, so I sadly walked past its display in the front of the store to riffle through the sale rack in the back. Now, imagine my utter joy when I saw the same top hanging on the sale rack just a few months later when I went to go buy "work appropriate pants" (huge eyeroll to this because they are all so ugly and unflattering). Needless to say I went home with the shirt and not the pants. And then because I love to buy things and then wait until just the right moment to wear them, this top sat in my closet with its tags still on until school started. 

Apart from this new top, everything else I'm wearing in this post has been on the blog before in some capacity and is at least a year old, but it's amazing how much the addition of just one new exciting item can liven up my whole wardrobe. When I was younger my motto was always "quantity over quality" meaning my entire wardrobe was made up of enough $15 pieces from Forever 21 that I wouldn't have to wear the same thing twice in an entire month. Today, I can confidently say that quality is definitely more important than quantity to me, and I don't even just mean well made, expensive pieces. I mean filling my wardrobe with pieces that fit well, can be made into a lot of different outfits, can be worn during more than one season, and that I feel comfortable in. I may no longer go on as many "shopping sprees" as I used to but coming home from the store with a new pair of well fitting jeans and fresh, crisp, striped t-shirt feels just as exhilarating. 

Everyday Makeup: Fall 2015

BB Cream/Concealer/Blush/Brow Pencil/Eyeshadow/Lipgloss/Mascara/Highlight/Eyeliner

About a year ago I wrote this post talking about my everyday makeup essentials, and while the look that I generally try to achieve hasn't changed a whole lot the products that I use to achieve it have. So here's my yearly update on what I slap on my face most mornings. As mentioned in my post last year, since I am a student and have very long days in which I usually cannot be bothered to take the time to touch up throughout the day I go for products that really do what I need them to do, do it well, and above all, last a very long time (because sometimes you put your makeup on at 7 am and don't take it off until after midnight). 

Face: I've raved about the Clinique Acne Solutions BB Cream before and I'll do it again - this is a miracle product. It's lightweight, mattifying, medium/full coverage, long lasting, and so natural looking. I put this on with my hands, slap my face a few times, use some of the NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer under my eyes and on my blemishes, and then set it with whatever translucent powder is within reach. To finish things off I swirl a somewhat generous amount of Benefit's Dandelion Boxed Powder Blush on my cheeks (perfect for fair skinned people and even more perfect for those of us who tend to be a bit heavy handed with the blush brush) and then top it all off with Benefit's High-Beam Highlighter on my cheekbones. My skin looks even and awake in about 5 minutes.

Eyes: "If I can't wear any other makeup I at least need to have my brows on" seems to be a pretty common sentiment lately, and I'm no exception to that rule. Although my eyebrows aren't completely nonexistent on their own, they definitely don't hold any type of shape without my intervention so filling them in and setting them everyday is a must for me. Lately, I've started to use this tiny brow pencil from NYX (a much less expensive dupe for the Anastasia Brow Wiz) and have just fallen head-over-heels in love. The nib is so incredibly small that I'm finally able to sort out the tail of my eyebrows without concentrating too hard. As for setting gel I'm not too picky, but right now I'm really liking using the L'Oreal Brow Stylist Plumper. On my actual eyes my routine is exactly the same as mentioned in last year's post. Either I do a shimmery mid-tone brown all over my lid and crease with tons of mascara and no eyeliner or I do a neutral eyeshadow all over my lid and some black winged liner. Recently though I have entered into the world of "high end" eyeliners and have decided to never look back, the Kat Von D Tattoo Eyeliner in Trooper is the EASIEST THING TO USE EVER. Seriously, it is so worth the $19 price tag - I will be savoring this baby until the very last drop.

Lips: What I wear on my lips changes so frequently depending on what I'm doing or what I'm wearing but the one product I seem to always have with me is my NARS lipgloss in Dolce Vita. It's the most perfect rose pink color that I can swipe on whenever and wherever, always knowing that it's going to work with everything else I have going on. It's not too glossy or sticky and fades away really nicely throughout the day, making it perfect for a long day running around campus trying to get a million things done. It's much more low maintenance than any regular lipstick I own, that's for sure.

After typing all of that out it sounds like a lot of products and time, but I generally get the whole job done in less than 20 minutes every morning - and it helps that taking the time to put my makeup on in the morning is something I genuinely enjoy doing. Having such a familiar and methodical routine in the morning helps to keep me calm as I prepare for the day ahead. 

The Last "First Day"

What I Wore - Dress: J. Crew Factory, Shoes: Dolce Vita, Earrings: Madewell, Lipstick: Bite Beauty "Brandy", Backpack: Duluth Pack

Today was my first day of school. My first day of my senior year of college. My very last first day of school. I've always been someone who spends the whole of August counting down the days until school starts again. By that point I've usually grown bored of not having a schedule (although that was not an issue this summer), am itching to see my friends everyday, and have a stack of new clothes in my closet that I've been saving all summer to wear. But mainly, I get excited for the first day of school because I have always seen it as an opportunity to introduce the new and best version of Eva; to blow my peers and teachers away with how I've changed (or magically somehow became cooler over the summer, although this stopped happening after I shaved my eyebrows off right before seventh grade). Mainly, I like reinventing myself because the image I have of who I want to be is ever changing and my first day of school outfit has always been indicative of what that desired image of myself is.

Last year I really wanted to embrace all of the new found independence and confidence my semester abroad had given me. I really felt I knew what I wanted and was not going to let myself get in the way of making it all happen. I had a lot of expectations for junior year. My leather mini skirt, pointy toed flats, and embellished oxford shirt on the first day of school made that known. This year, my last year, feels different. I want my senior year to be exactly whatever it's going to end up being. I want to work really hard, spend time with the people I love, do things that challenge and excite me, and stay true to who I have become over the past four years. So I kept my outfit simple and wore what felt natural to me. A shirt dress, nude flats, simple jewelry, and a bold lipstick. I still felt like the best, most authentic, version of myself without feeling like I had to make a statement about it.

Take Care

I start my senior year of college in less than a week, which is equal parts terrifying and thrilling, but with the approach of my last first day of school has come a resurfacing of old fears, insecurities, and doubts. Since being in college and gaining more and more independence and responsibility I've learned that at this stage in my life my biggest responsibility is to take care of myself, which sounds so much more simple than it's been. The practical activities such as remembering to get the oil changed in my car and feeding myself meals more substantial than peanut butter toast have come fairly easy for me, but regularly checking in with my emotional wellbeing and taking time for "self-care" is a bit less intuitive. Over time and with the influence and support of my close friends I have found that really good, productive, and effective self-care is not just one thing for me. I can't just spend the day painting my nails and watching Say Anything, I've also got to cry about it, call my mom on the phone, and then share a pizza with my roommates. It's a lot! Sometimes it takes a whole weekend and sometimes I really really don't want to do it. But I'm always brighter and lighter after it all.

So, since it seems to be the season of sharing "back-to-school" tips I thought I would share what I think is the key to success - taking really good care of yourself. This is what works for me, maybe it won't work for you, but I hope that it might at least get you thinking about what might.

It would seem that my preferred method of getting my feelings out into the open is generally in the form of crying/yelling/word vomit, usually late at night when I'm too exhausted to hold it in anymore, to anyone who'll lend an ear to listen. I always find this to be the most painful part of my self-care. It means I have to admit to myself that something is wrong and that maybe I don't know how to fix it right now and that it's affecting me way more than I wish it would. But once it's out, it's out, and I'm not letting it back in. 

Unloading everything that's been swirling around inside my head and heart generally really really exhausts and often discourages me, causing a bad/mad/sad day. To be honest, I don't deal with bad days well. I thrive on being someone who is fun to be around and can lift other people up when they're feeling low, which is hard to do when I'm feeling low myself. But I'm really working on accepting my bad days for what they are when they happen and trying to understand that they can serve a purpose if I let them. So when a bad day does happen I let myself take the time I need to be grumpy and mope around eating every cookie in sight, forcing a cheery disposition onto myself won't help me or anyone around me. It's okay to let yourself steep in those feelings for a day. This article from  Darling Magazine is one of my favorite pieces of writing about dealing with bad days. 

I am firm believer that good self-care cannot happen in total isolation. In order to take a step back and really see the situation for what it is I need people who have some degree of separation from whatever issue I'm dealing with and can talk me down from my emotionally exhausted, and often irrational, state. My parents are the people in my life who are always able to bring me back down to reality and put things into perspective. They remind me that I've made it through every bad day that I've ever had and will continue to, that everything seems a bit easier after a good night's sleep, and that I am the one in charge of my own emotions.  

Recharging seems to be what most people think of when they think of self-care, but I find it to be most beneficial once I've gone in and done the work to pull out all of the confusion and frustration inside of me. Depending on your personality and your situation, recharging can be a lot of different things. For me, as a strong introvert, it generally means some good alone time. Taking time to cook myself a good meal, taking a long shower, putting on my favorite pajamas, watching a film, or cleaning my room are where my instinct takes me. It is also sometimes retail therapy but I don't know if I should be encouraging that. Simple acts that help your mind and body get back to equilibrium and make you feel a bit stronger than before - more prepared to tackle the days ahead.  

Something Different

What I Wore: Top - Urban Outfitters, Skirt - Loft, Shoes - Seychelles

It's a been a little while since I've posted about an outfit, but I wore a crop top today (for the first time in my life) and bought this new skirt so I thought it would be appropriate to share. Aside from the usual "I haven't been wearing anything very interesting" excuse I mainly just haven't been feeling too good about myself lately and really have not wanted to have my photo taken. Today was different. Today I felt good and wanted to share this outfit and a few thoughts I've been having.

I recently had a bad day. A day when I felt really really horrible about myself to the point where I was allowing it to ruin my entire day. After trying to spend the morning out with friends I ended up essentially locking myself up in my house to be by myself and get the negative thoughts out of my system. That day I was reminded of a previous day when one of my friends had been feeling a similar way. That day I had done my best to try and listen to her and tell her what she needed to hear, which I now realize is I what I needed to be hearing (and listening to) as well.

Here are the two things that I need to tell myself more often and actually listen to:

1. You are allowed to take up space. The more 'you' there is in the world the better because you are good and valuable and important.

2. Your body houses so many good things and allows you do so many good things. Focus on those things and not the way your arms looked in that photo or how it feels when your legs rub together under your dress. Nourish the good things your body allows you to do/think/feel.

I am realizing more and more that on my bad days I am not mad at my body but that I'm more mad at the way I think about my body. My body does everything I could ever want or need it to do, but I am in desperate need of a paradigm shift in my relationship with it. I am continuously learning how to inhabit, use, and honor the shape I was lucky enough to be born into.

And with that, I encourage to do something to honor yourself today (and tomorrow and the day after that).

An Afternoon at ENSO Urban Winery

Since turning 21 back in November doing a wine tasting has been at the top of my "adult things to do" list and on Friday I finally got around to doing my first one. There are a ton of really great vineyards and wineries in the area surrounding Portland, but as most of them are at least an hour drive from the city it makes going out to one a bit of a time commitment. ENSO is unique because although they source the grapes they use for their wines from California, Washington, and Oregon the wine itself is made right in the heart of SE Portland. The tasting room and winery are both housed in the same space (which is actually an old garage), making the experience that much more special. 

My two friends and I all went for the tasting flights, which at $10 are pretty hard to pass up, and spent a lovely few hours sipping our wine and munching on some bread while catching up and making plans for the rest of the weekend. The flights each featured 5 different wines with a choice between either a red flight or a white & rosé flight - I followed my heart and went with the red. Out of all five varieties the Counoise was definitely my favorite, it was like nothing I'd ever had before. 

I think, if I had it my way, I'd spend every Friday afternoon just like this. The atmosphere was calm and inviting, the wine was wonderful, and I didn't feel intimidated going in because of my lack of wine knowledge. I think visiting ENSO is a must for any and all wine loving Portlanders. 

What I Wore - Top: Old Navy, Jeans: J. Crew, Shoes: Seychelles, Bag: Madewell